Town of Spangle
City Council Meeting Minutes
Date: November 22, 2024
Location: Town Hall – The Room With the Wobbly Table (we all know which one)
1. Call to Order
Mayor Bob “I Forgot My Glasses” Johnson called the meeting to order at 7:00 PM sharp. He stared at the clock for a moment, unsure whether it was actually 7:00, but decided it was “close enough.”
2. Roll Call
Present:
- Mayor Bob Johnson (and his now infamous stack of papers, all of which were definitely “important”)
- Councilmember Sue “Baked Goods” Williams (brought cookies, again, which everyone pretended to eat but mostly took home)
- Councilmember Tim “Mute Button Expert” Hayes (joined via Zoom but didn’t realize his mic was on until 15 minutes in)
- Councilmember Rachel “I’m Not Late, You’re Early” Green (arrived precisely at 7:12 PM and blamed traffic from the donut shop)
Absent:
- Councilmember Dave “I Need a Nap” Richards (he sent a text saying, “I’m sleeping, but good luck with the squirrels.”)
3. Approval of Minutes
The minutes from the previous meeting were approved after only one minor amendment: Councilmember Tim’s statement on “the need for more benches” was corrected to “the need for more blankets,” after a brief discussion about his favorite napping spots.
4. Old Business
a. Town Hall Roof Leak
Public Works reported that the roof leak has been “temporarily handled” by a combination of duct tape and optimism. A more permanent solution involving “real roofing” is still in the works but not on this month’s budget.
5. New Business
a. Holiday Lights Contest
Councilmember Rachel proposed adding a new category to the town’s holiday lights contest: “Best Use of Inflatable Yard Decorations That May or May Not Be Scary.” After some vigorous debate, it was agreed that inflatable Santa would still be allowed, but only if he did not take up more than 50% of the yard.
b. Squirrel Population Management
Councilmember Sue suggested a town-wide effort to manage the increasingly aggressive squirrel population. Mayor Bob quickly pointed out that there is no such thing as “Squirrel Diplomacy,” and thus, trapping them was not an option. Sue then proposed a “Squirrel Festival,” which was shot down when it was realized it might be more trouble than it’s worth.
6. Public Comments
A local resident, Mr. Jasper “I Own 14 Cats” Wiggins, asked whether there would be a tax incentive for “pet hoarders” or if he could be reimbursed for the 40 pounds of cat food he buys each month. The council agreed to look into it, though no formal decision was made.
7. Adjournment
Meeting adjourned at 8:03 PM after Councilmember Tim accidentally hit the “end meeting” button on Zoom. Everyone agreed it was probably for the best.
Next Meeting: December 6, 2024 – Same wobbly table, same questionable decisions.
Signed,
Mayor Bob Johnson
(Still searching for his glasses.)
*this post is an example, this was not written by the Town of Spangle.
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